The God Umbrella - Learning to Revel in Divine Love.

In my many years of palmistry, one thing that I have often observed among people is a pervasive sense of unworthiness.  For me, and I believe this is true for many of us, I have a foundational and early belief about being unlovable, unworthy, not enough, etc.  These ideas are reinforced by a particular and insidious puritanical tenant that “we are all sinners, but God loves us anyway.”  So, we don’t feel worthy of Divine love, and operate from this place of unworthiness.  And operating from this place of unworthiness, we separate ourselves from feeling the presence of the Divine.  I coined the term “god umbrella” as a way to describe the way that we block the Divine energy.

When we have our “god umbrella” deployed, we experience a pattern of lack and longing in a very profound way and look for ways to pacify ourselves.  We pacify ourselves with overindulgence in the pleasures of the world: drink, food, drugs, sex.  (None of which is necessarily bad in itself, but only harmful when used to replace the Divine.) 

We also have a very strong desire to be “right” about the fact that we are unworthy of the Divine, so we indulge in elaborate ways to punish ourselves for our own failings.  Something that might be a simple oversight on our part is enlarged and enflamed by our self flagellation over it.

Finally, we have woven the “god umbrella” into our lives so expertly, that all of our motivations and even our political and economic systems are created around patterns of lack and unworthiness.  Thus we fear opening up to the Divine because we are afraid it will separate us from the world we know.  The thought that is often in my own mind goes something like, “Well, if I open up and start just basking in God’s love, what is going to motivate me to go to work, or do anything but just laying on the couch all day?”

Closing the “god umbrella” is an act of faith.  Not a “blind faith”, and not a faith that is dependent on anything, rather it is a faith in ourselves.  Faith that we are worthy.  Faith that we are lovable.  This is a faith which is a decision and a commitment rather than a feeling.  Closing the “god umbrella” is a choice to believe that you are totally worthy, lovable, amazing, and adored by the Divine.  A choice to believe that you are whole and complete.  A belief in this even if there isn't a feeling of it.

What happens when we are able to close that "god umbrella"?  Here are some things I have noticed in my own life.  First of all, some things that have not changed: I have not stopped being myself.   I haven’t ceased to have issues, concerns, hopes and desires.  I continue to fail and to succeed at things.  But I have stopped suffering in these experiences.  I stopped having to be “right” about my unworthiness.  Mistakes become simply that – mistakes.

What I am free of is the torture I put myself through when I fail.  I have noticed a grand acceptance of my being.  A comfort in my body, just the way it is.  My observation of being a bit overweight has transformed from a source of endless self-torture, to a simple observation.  And I have noticed that I have been eating less.  Not on purpose or because I am choosing to diet, but for another, more profound reason.  I have found that I am Satisfied (with a capital “s”).  This is one example of many areas of my life I am experiencing transformation.

I invite you to try on these ideas: YOU are worthy, lovable, and adored by the Divine!  Imagine the Divine loving you, as a parent loves a newborn child.  Look at yourself in the mirror and imagine the Divine loving you.  (do this regardless of how you feel about it – just take this action anyway).  I invite you to close your “god umbrella” and experience a deep and lasting fullness, one that allows all of our pacifying behaviors to melt away.

Love and light,
Jim Barker